NOT A Musician

Actually, this is not something I learned today, but something that has been learned in stronger and stronger terms to the point that my blood pressure may go down by venting.

The common simple definition of a musician is one “who  composes, conducts, or performs music, especially instrumental music.” This begs the question, “What is music?” I won’t bore you with more definitions, but I would emphasize that my definition excludes much of what is currently “performed”.

Recently, I watched a fantastic documentary, “Before the Music Dies”. It does not pretend to be a scholarly work or the ultimate judgment of music evolution. It was made by a few talented people who love music, but have no connection to the business of music. It validated my opinion about a lot of what is now played on the radio, television and iPods everywhere. Here is the test:

·        List your favorite 10 songs you’ve been singing in the last six months.

·        List all of those from question 1 that do NOT have an accompanying video.

For all those not listed, there is a strong chance that the performer is not what I would classify as a musician. Rather, they are entertainers, performers that act like some perception of what a musician might be. They are actors.

Technology has allowed anyone with a few thousand dollars to create a professional quality music studio to record, edit and publish music. Products like Garage Band, Acid Music Studio, Magix Samplitude and Cakewalk have the ability to do what it took millions of dollars to do just twenty years ago. Then there are the plug-ins. If that A₄ drifting between 430Hz and 450Hz it can be automatically detected recorded at the perfect 440Hz. This allows people who cannot sing or play on pitch sound like disciplined, trained musicians. The plug-ins that work in the studio also work on the concert tour. This may account in part for the small number of performers that play acoustic and sing without a mic.

Modern music has become a commodity. Maybe it always was and only a few talented individuals in the past (Haydn,  Gershwin, Led Zeppelin, Dave Matthews) were good enough to remember. The rest of the songs were composed, sung and forgotten along with their composers. The business of music is to create a brand (Lady GaGa), manufacture a product (Poker Face) and release several purchasable packages of that same product (original, remixes, live performances)  and when sales start dropping introduce a new product to replace it (when was the last time you heard Poker Face?).

The product is put together by people who may have never played in the same room or even the same state. The guitar riff was laid down in LA, someone in Detroit sold the beat and the backup vocals are recorded by studio musicians after the star is done and gone. Writers, composers and performers are often different people. You Were Meant for Me, Jewel’s first hit, was written by Steve Poltz, a prolific song writer who was 45 when he penned it. To be fair, Jewel was present. The two were vacationing in Mexico. Poltz didn’t feel the song would work for him so he offered it to Jewel. I was 45 too when it aired and really liked the song. I even bought the CD. I haven’t played it in 8 years, but it is still on my shelf with hundreds more dusty jewel cases.

Performing still requires a lot of hours in the studio; just not the sound studio. The real work and rehearsal takes place in the dance studio. Generally, a professional choreographer works with the performer to create some brand steps. Their personal trainer makes sure his health (and washboard abs) holds up. The cosmetic “enhancers” (surgeons, estheticians, fashion designers and more) make sure the product is wrapped properly.

I believe real musicians still exist. I discover them all the time. Many of them make sure that new performers will have branded material. Some struggle to introduce music to high school students who felt Chorale was an easy A. But the business of music is controlled by a very few powerful people in a very few powerful companies. They create performers that may act musically. On the other side is the internet where I discover a new musician at least once a week.

When I see a beautiful woman displaying most of herself with perfect curves wearing stilettos, my first impression is not “this is going to be a great musician”. This does not mean that you have to be ugly to be a musician, although many of my favorites look much better on the stereo than they do on the home theater. It is physically impossible to perform some of the stunts in a typical show while singing evenly. Still, I appreciate their agility, sense of rhythm and physical conditioning. Then remember the sound system is there to produce that A₄ at a perfect 440Hz when something migrating toward G₃ being sung by the performer. A similar thing from my history might be Ian Anderson, the famous flautist of Jethro Tull who played a substantial part of the time while balancing and bouncing on one foot. Jimi Hendrix using his teeth to play Hey Joe on his Strat was impressive even with your eyes closed. I consider both to be good performers…and great musicians.

To really match the characters of today from my music history, I would select Tiny Tim. People watched Tiny Tim. It was the way he dressed, the things he said, how he acted that entertained. I don’t know of anyone who would pull out their Tiny Tim cassette today to listen to a once famous musician.